6 Signs of an Emotional Manipulator

Emotional manipulators usually use mind games in order to gain control in a relationship. The ultimate objective is to dominate the other person with that power.

Trust, understanding, and mutual respect are the foundations of a healthy relationship. This is true in both personal and professional relations. People will sometimes try to take advantage of these aspects of a relationship in order to benefit themselves in some form.

So, how can you tell if you are dealing with an emotional manipulator? Here are 6 signs of an emotional manipulator:

They Use Passive-aggressive Behaviour

In passive aggression, the manipulator does not express bad feelings or problems with a person. Instead, they find subtle methods to express their frustration and undermine the other person.

Emotional manipulators usually agree to a project or task, then hunt for passive-aggressive methods to let the other person know they don't want to do it. Emotional manipulators use a variety of passive-aggressive strategies, including Sullenness or cynicism, Intentional mistakes and procrastination, Complaints about being underappreciated or somehow cheated out of something, Resentment and covert opposition.

Recommended Book: Emotional: How Feelings Shape Our Thinking

They Play The Victim

Nothing is ever their fault when it comes to emotional manipulators. It's always someone else's fault, no matter what they do—or don't do. It's usually you who persuaded them to do it. 

It's your fault if you become angry or upset because you have unrealistic expectations; if they get angry, it's still your fault for upsetting them. Emotional manipulators do not accept responsibility for their actions.

They Take Advantage Of Your Weaknesses

One of the most obvious signs of emotional manipulation in a relationship is this.

Suppose you constantly blame yourself for opening yourself to this individual. In such a situation, it's likely that they've been weaponizing your flaws and vulnerabilities against you and bringing them up skillfully during a dispute. You may get the impression that they always hit you below the belt.

They Act As Though They Are Doing Too Much For You

An emotionally manipulative person volunteers for tasks and responsibilities they don't want and acts as though they're doing you a favour, only to turn around and use it against you in a dispute.

For example, someone can agree to make dinner every night but then bring it up later, saying, "I always cook dinner for your ungrateful self."

They may even buy you gifts or take you on expensive vacations as a favour, just to bring it up in an argument later.

Recommended Book: Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life

They Always Compare You

In order to provoke you, a manipulative person may make a comparison between you and someone else. They may use a single person to make you feel insecure, or they might try to create the impression that "everyone else" is doing what they want. They may even take the assistance of others to persuade you to feel or act a specific way.

Their Actions Contradict Their Words

Emotional manipulators will say whatever you want to hear, but their actions will tell you otherwise. They say they'll help, but when it comes down to it, they respond as if your requests are completely unreasonable. They tell you how fortunate they are to have met you, then act as though you are a burden. 

This is just another method to make you doubt your own sanity. They cause you to question reality as you know it and change your view to meet their needs.

Follow us on YouTube